I say they are fools.
A thousand apologies, my friends.
Please, this is not a way to introduce you to our great enterprise.
Look.
Is it not magnificent?
It's beautiful.
Certainly is.
Bloody amazing.
- Hello. - Hello.
For the last time, Sugden,
there is absolutely no way I can get you these fish.
Tom, this comes from the top. The very top.
I don't care if God's taken up fly fishing.
Now, I suggest you make this work, Tom.
Is that a threat, Sugden?
These are difficult days, Tom. Cuts. Cuts everywhere.
I don't know. Is the Environment Agency a frontline service?
That is a threat.
See it as an opportunity.
Well, then. An opportunity.
Hilary, get me Matthew Sweet from Fly Fishing Monthly, will you?
That's all I've been told, and so I...
Okay. All right, then.
Well, please, please, please call me when...
Okay. Bye.
I'm so sorry. Did I wake you up?
No. No, no. News?
No. No, I was just leaving a message on Robert's phone
which is ridiculous because he hasn't got his phone with him.
And I know that.
Just turning into a madwoman.
No.
No, when things get tricky in my life, I talk to my fish.
I have a pond.
Talking to an answering machine is no madder than chatting to koi carp.
I just somehow wouldn't associate you with having a tricky life.
Well, it wouldn't do to talk about your emotions with a colleague,
would it, Ms. Chetwode-Talbot?
No, I think...
I think things are beyond tricky, really.
They have been for some time.
Mary's in Geneva. I'm here.
The koi carp are alone in Surrey.
We got married very young.
I'm sorry, I didn't...
I didn't really know things were hard.
No, don't apologize. There's always hope.
For me and for you.
Do you know, I can't even remember what he looks like.
Not exactly.
But I'm stuck,
and I can't move on.
Does that make any sense?
Yes. Totally.
I feel a bit like I've been stuck for years.
Yes, but you can move on.
Well, I suppose in theory.
You should be happy, Fred.
I knew you'd have a pond.
The traitor has had his chance.
You know what to do.
Do not fail us.
I think the idea of taking Scottish salmon to a foreign country
is absolutely absurd.
These fish have been running these rivers for tens of thousands of years.
I've fished the rivers of Scotland all my life.
Yes, Prime Minister.
It would appear that the gentle fisherfolk are not so effing gentle after all.
Rape and pillage of our national rivers...
What, ditch the whole thing?
No. No, no, no, Prime Minister.
No, we must just find the fish somewhere bloody else.
Your turrets are blocking my reception.
Well, I'm terribly sorry about that, madam. If you'd care to follow me, please.
Mrs. Maxwell.
- Pleasure to meet you. - It's an honor.
Happy birthday, Patricia.
Yes, we could do with a few more like you in Cabinet.
Very good, Your Excellency.
I'm grateful, indeed, that you could spare some time for our little project.
Yes. Well, we have gone out on a bit of a limb for you, Your Excellency,
but the Prime Minister does love his fishing.
- Really? - Yes. Rod's never out of his hand.
Anyway, down to business.
The fish. The salmon.
We're not gonna get it out of British waters.
There's a bloody big fuss about it, as no doubt you've heard.
Don't know what it is about fishing. Anyway, no-goer.
- Yes, but I thought... - However,
I have solved your problem.
See? There must be thousands in this one alone.
This guy's got four fish farms up and down the coast.
Stocks all the Tescos. Right under your nose.
These fish were bred for the dinner table. It's barbaric.
They've never run in their lives.
Neither have their forebears for two generations.
Why would they run for us?
The difference in these salmon...
We'd open the sluices
and they would just drift off downstream never to be seen again.
Well, get a couple of days fishing out of it,
then just re-stock or whatever the word is.
Seems to be no shortage of them.
In transit for the supermarkets.
These fish will never run. They're just not right.
Not right? Well, a fish is a fish is a fish, isn't it?
No. You see, Mrs. Maxwell, I have a vision.
Tired, bloated pretenders are not part of this vision.
Well, unfortunately, Her Majesty's Government also has a vision,
and that vision is farmed fish or no fish.
Then I must thank you for your precious time.
And decline.
No advisers, either. Back at your desk on Monday, Fred.
Well, in that case, I resign.
Resignation accepted.
- Thank you. - Pleasure.
So, this leaves us with what?
Well, with no salmon.
We must have faith, Dr. Alfred.
Well, that's a very laudable sentiment, Your Excellency,
but we're running out of time.
Can't catch faith with a fishing rod.
Hello, Fred.
Sheikh Muhammed bin Zaidi bani Tihama!
Are you okay? Are you okay?
I didn't think he looked right, that man.
And he pulled out a gun! Are you all right?
- Yes. - Are you sure?
Yes.
Thank you. Thank you, Dr. Alfred. Thank you very much.
Don't be silly. Don't be silly. It was only a cast, really.
A very good cast.
An essential cast, one might say.
Yes, I suppose one might say that.
- Here. - My God, Fred. Are you all right?
Yeah, yeah. It was very quick. It was over in a flash, really.
How did you do that?
I did a right-handed snake roll. Did I get him?
Yes, it was extraordinary.
- Are you all right? - Yes, thank you very much.
Please, continue your work as if nothing had happened.
Of course, of course.
I owe you my life.
No. Please, come on. Anyone would have...
This is not one of those British metaphors, Dr. Alfred.
The debt will be repaid.
- Bye, now. - Goodbye.
Bye.
In response to the Right Honorable Member's question
of the 7th of last month,
the Ministry of Defense can now confirm
that an engagement by British Special Forces
against known terrorists did occur on the 13th of September.
The details of this operation are classified.
However, I am at liberty to say
that serious casualties were incurred by the British forces.
I deeply regret to inform the House that there were no survivors.
An internal investigation is being carried out.
Sorry to wake you up.
- No, don't be. - It's just...
It's okay.
It's just...
I just never got the chance to really know him.
Mary?
Fred? There you are.
I had no idea you were...
I got a day off and thought, "Why not surprise him?"
I've got this wonderful Swiss mountain Comté
from a little shop round the corner in Geneva.
Is everything all right, Fred?
Where's your suit and tie? Day off?
I resigned.
Don't be ridiculous.
You've resigned?
What about your pension? It's final salary.
Well, the government pulled out of the salmon fishing project
and we'd put a lot of time and energy into it.
I didn't want to walk away from that.
Well?
Well, everyone involved.
I'm still being paid, if that's what you're worried about.
Fitzharris & Price have been more than...
I might have known she'd be involved.
If you're referring to Harriet, we're working on the project together.
Of course she's involved.
- Harriet? - What do you mean exactly by that, Mary?
I've seen her photograph on the Fitzharris & Price website.
You're making a fool of yourself.
Now it's you that's being ridiculous.
Am I'.?
I'm not the one abandoning a decent, highly respected job
for a joke fishing project and a short-skirted office girl.
- She's not an office girl. - What is she, then, Fred? Hey?
Just what is she?
She's a colleague.
- She's a very talented colleague and... - And?
And a friend! She's just a friend!
Are you in love with her?
I've done nothing, Mary. I have no expectations.
I didn't ask about your expectations.
I asked if you were in love with her.
This is a mid-life crisis. It's textbook, it's pathetic.
I'm so sorry, Mary.
You'll be back, Fred. Or you'll try.
Six months and you'll be begging to be taken back in.
It's in your DNA.
You'd think a bloody scientist would know that much!
Six months and you'll be begging to be taken back in.
It's in your DNA.
We don't need native river fish.
We'll be all right with farmed salmon.
I know. I don't much like them, but...
Well, they will run. I know it.
Yes, Your Excellency.
Despite our moral and philosophical objections,
farmed salmon will run.
I'm absolutely sure of it.
You are tireless, Doctor.
You have uncovered some new research?
A new paper, perhaps?
No, I just know it.
You just know it. I see.
Faith, Dr. Alfred.
Damn it. Yes, all right, then, faith.
So?
They're alive.
That hurts!
Sorry, sweetie.
- Mrs. Maxwell? - What?
Amazing news. One of the officers presumed dead,
Captain Robert Mayers, has been found alive.
- Good. - Yes, we're very pleased.
Yes, very good.
It's very good news for the family.
And his girlfriend, Ms. Chetwode-Talbot.
Wait. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Who else knows about this?
You're the first to know.
Right, keep it that way.
Total press embargo. Do you understand?
- Yes, Mrs. Maxwell. - That salmon fishing thing.
Is that still happening?
As far as I'm aware.
- It is? - Yes.
- Yemen? - Yes.
Perfect.
Yes, this is all coming together very nicely.
I intended to create a small miracle.
Something to glorify God and bring our tribes together.
Sometimes I wonder if we haven't created something that glorifies man.
It is a very fine line.
Hubris, Dr. Alfred.
Hubris.
- It's nice here. - Beautiful.
You know, Fred, this project, it saved me. I think.
You know, with everything that happened.
So those farmed fish had better run.
- I believe they will. - You do?
Yes, I believe that it's in the very core of their being to head upstream
even if they never have, even if the parent fish never have.
Look at this.
Look at that.
Mary said something about me.
She said that I was genetically programmed to
return to a dull pedestrian life with her.
That it was in my DNA.
Do you think that you are?
No. No, I belong here. I always have done.
- Harriet. - Yes.
I was wondering about you and me.
The theoretical possibility in the same way
as a manned mission to Mars is a theoretical possibility.
Obviously.
Or salmon fishing in the Yemen.
Yes.
- Yes? - Yes.
I just need a little time.
Of course, of course. All the time you want.
Thank you.
- Mr. Foreign Secretary. - Brian Fleet.
The great fisherman.
The great... Well, it has been a little while, to be honest.
A bit rusty, you know.
Some skills are never forgotten.
Please, follow this man to your tent. I shall join you shortly.
What have you been saying?
Fishing's the last thing anyone's gonna be interested in, trust me.
Get ready for the photo op of a lifetime, Sonny Jim.
N-S-R. No salmon required.
Is that a Woolly Jones?
No, this is a new one I've invented.
IS it?
What's it called?
This one is called the Chetwode-Talbot Beauty.
That's very nice.
It's true.
You're not being funny?
No, I don't have a sense of humor, as you recall.
That is true.
- Beautiful. - Yes, she is.
Here.
Thank you.
Don't you think we should be doing something, Fred? Preparing?
L am preparing...
Well, for the whole thing, you know.
Everything's done, Harriet, it's fine. Just relax.
Did you just...
Dr. Alfred Jones just told me to relax.
What is the world coming to?
Oh, my God.
Harriet.
Right, Harriet and Robert...
Right, okay. Shut up, hacks.
No military stuff. It's classified.
Anyway, I don't think you'd understand it.
The only thing you need to know is that this man, Captain Mayers here,
is a war hero.
Human interest stuff only. Sir.
Harriet, can you tell us how it feels?
It feels like it's a...
It's a... It's a shock, but it's wonderful.
Please can we have a kiss?
Go on. Come on.
I am sorry, my friend.
No-No, it's...
It's a miracle.
Indeed.
Nevertheless, I'm sorry.
All right, gentlemen, gentlemen, I think that's all.
A little privacy for the couple, please.
I'd just like to say that the British government
is proud to have played a small but significant part
in this extraordinary reunion of Harriet and Captain Mayers.
That's what we're here for.
This is strange.
Bad strange?
No, good strange.
Do you mind if we don't...
No, of course not.
There's no rush.
Will you just hold me?
How did you get caught up in this, H?
Salmon fishing out here? It's ridiculous.
Well, you never know with the sheikh.
I expect there will be a six-star hotel and a golf course before you know it.
That's not his style at all.
Don't you believe it.
He's gotta make his money back somehow.
They're no fools, these Arabs.
You don't sleep, either?
No, not much.
Well...
At least there's no bloody journos around at this time, anyway.
You've been very good to Harriet, Fred.
I appreciate it.
I love her.
Yeah, she's great.
She's really great.
No.
I love her.
Does she love you?
I don't know now.
Yesterday, you weren't alive.
Well, I apologize for not being dead in a ditch.
I don't think I can accept your apology.
Is that a joke?
Yes, yes, sort of. I'm not... I've never been very good at jokes.
It's all right, Robert. Really.
It's all right.
The day has arrived.
Before the dam, this was a dry riverbed.
And now, as you all can see, we have water.
And today, we hope we shall discover the one missing thing.
So, thank you, one and all, for coming
as not one of you, not even my dear self,
knows if this curious experiment of mine will actually work.
It better had bloody work.
Doesn't matter if it works or not, dolly.
All that matters is you.
Fishing on Sky tonight with our war hero.
- I haven't done this in years. - For God's sake.
There are 10,000 fish in there.
If you can't hook one of them, you can just flip off back to Transport.
My intention is to color this desert in green.
Make an agricultural industry for my people,
and the sons and daughters of my people for generations to come.
- Right on cue. - So here we are,
Muslims, Christians and the odd heathen.
We are all gathered here in an act of faith. And why not?
And now, the moment that we are all waiting for,
the fruits of all our efforts.
The moment of truth.
Open the sluices.
Where's it going?
It's going the wrong way. It's heading downstream.
Wait a minute.
It's turned around. Wait. Wait, wait.
- Look, they're going upstream. - Wait. Wait, wait, wait.
Oh, my God, they're running. Fred, look.
Look!
- They're running, Fred! - They're running!
Blondie. Come down here, come on. Come down here now.
Look, we ought to get a picture of him with the sheikh.
- It's working, Your Excellency. - It is.
They are running upstream, look!
Let's go fishing, Dr. Alfred.
Turn it on, dolly.
I need to get further out.
For God's sakes. Come on, off you go!
Have you got that?
Yes, Mrs. Maxwell. But can we get them closer together?
God, I'll give it a go. Robert, darling.
Can you come... Can you turn around a bit?
I'm worried about what he's doing with his rod.
Lovely. And, Brian,
just a nice smile, that would be good.
Did you get that?
God, he's useless, isn't he?
More fun without waders, Dr. Alfred.
Yes.
I think I caught one, Dr. Alfred.
It's a beauty, Your Excellency.
Look out behind you!
Your Excellency, behind you!
Step UP...
No, you first!
I repay my debts, Dr. Alfred.
- Okay. I'll pull you up. After... - Okay.
Here, Your Excellency, hold on. Here, come on.
We won't need these any more.
I just don't understand who would do this.
Why would they do this?
I know who. And I know why.
Can't you find them? Arrest them?
What for?
Justice.
I think these destroyers... Bad men, certainly.
But I think perhaps they have a point.
I expected people to understand what we were doing here.
I expected them to see that it was really not about fishing at all.
In the end, I asked for too much.
Will you try again?
The question is "Will we try again?"
This was ours.
Yes, I think maybe Robert wants to go home.
So, I don't... I don't know.
Does home call, Dr. Fred?
I don't really have a home any more.
There was a moment when I had everything, but...
Well, now I don't know what to do.
When the time comes, you will know.
Well, until then.
Thank you.
Just gonna say goodbye to Fred.
Are you sure?
Sorry?
Listen, Harriet.
When I was in the desert,
the only thing that kept me going was the thought of you.
You don't owe me anything.
I want you to understand that.
So...
We're going.
I'm so sorry, Fred.
It was an extraordinary idea. It almost worked, too.
I wasn't talking about the project.
No, I'm not sure that I was.
I never meant to hurt you like this.
It's not your fault.
I don't know what to do.
I can't help you there, I'm afraid.
Are you going to stay?
Stay for what?
There's nothing here any more.
Not you, not a single fish left in the river.
Well, someone's gonna have to make a move. Good luck, Harriet.
Dr. Alfred, look!
They're alive!
I'm going to stay.
I want to start again.
I'll do it on my own if I have to.
I'll start small, though, this time.
A different approach. Just a few fish to begin with.
Involve the local community more.
Make it their project, not ours. That's the way to protect it.
Do you need an assistant, Dr. Jones?
Well, I suppose I will. I'm sure the sheikh has somebody that...
An assistant?
A partner.
Yes, Ms. Chetwode-Talbot.
More than anything.